This week’s Missed Connections asks a burning question — do you like to shave? Not yourself, but… other people? If so, there’s someone out there looking for you. Don’t worry, you’re not gonna get paid, so it’ll have to be for the love. And you better bring your own clippers. Sounds great, right?
That’s not all we’ve got for ya this week, though — we’ve also got a missed connection from Chuck Norris himself, who, for an 80 year old man, is both more active and more timid than I’d ever expect. Meanwhile, at least one person out there remembers the classic Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn movies of the World War II era. I never thought Missed Connections were the province of old people, but considering all the cheesy crap that gets posted every week and never makes it to this column, I guess I can’t be surprised.
Of course, the usual assortment of underwear-purchasing freaks, maniacal interstate speeders, and grocery store stalkers are representing this week, as well as a whole bunch of people pouring their hearts out about their truly… unique romantic interests and situations. One thing I will say about that: people will surprise you. Which is, of course, why you come to this column every week in the first place.
Let your freak flag fly, Virginia.
Average guy here in need of manscaping. I’m not overly hairy, but I’m unable to reach all the nooks and crannies easily. Can you help? Ideally, here’s what I’m hoping to find.
– a man with clippers who has done this before
– a warm location so my bits and pieces don’t freeze or hide
– someone willing to help another guy out (no monetary compensation) and is kind enough to host.
I almost ruined a new relationship by entertaining bullshit texts from a fuckboy. Lesson learned.
Brunnette Girl at Goodwill in Shortpump
I saw you from afar. In instances like this, I usually just be bold and approach. Sometimes you half to let things go as they may, and relax. That is as I did. It was today, around 1:15 p.m., EST. You were oh so strong in your energy. I could feel it across the room. Well, if you see this please respond. Never again will I let such opportunity pass me by.
“Chuck Norris”
Who else is tired of dating sites?
Improbable friendship (Northside)
We have an improbable friendship. I love when you text. There is something else there I want to explore. Let me know if you think so, too. Please reply with our former shared work location if you think this is you.
Only YOU could wear a simple, white sweater, a longish green skirt, and basic pumps and look like a Girl Friday from a Spencer Tracy movie. Dang, you were burn in the wrong decade!
Missed a connection with a girl in chspk who sold me her underwear hmu lets do it again..
To the girl in the white nissan. I was racing you in a work truck around mechanicsville area down to 64 and your so beautiful if you see this message me!
I Wish I Could Give Money To Salem, Virginia Kroger Teresa/Blondie (Roanoke, Virginia)
I wish I could give money to the Salem, Virginia Spartan Square Kroger Teresa/Blondie. Last time I heard she was still an overnight stocker at that Kroger. If I gave her money it would definitely be for forgiveness. I wish for her to be my friend again.
To the solo dude on a bike down boulevard
You were riding in a 3 pack of bikes with what I assume to be, two couples. Around 6 PM. Going down arthur ashe boulevard. You were jammin out and rocking out on your bike. Swervin and feelin’ it.You had a brown backpack on. I assume riding alone means you are not taken. Dude, female, idc. I’m intrigued. I wanna get to know your vibe.
Let me know which street you took off boulevard so I know it’s you.
I am a boring male. I would like to meet a boring and nerdy female. We would be like two peas in a pod
Still bored….new nerdy geeky cool friend? (The Near Westend or Fan Area)
So I put a classified out back in Jan. and it got a lot of messages, but by in large went no where. So people just replied that they liked what I wrote, but when I asked for more info, I got nothing back. So I am going to try again.
Here it goes. My best bud is a younger dude who is geeky, nerdy, skinny younger guy. He’s 24. The problem is that he lives in NC. We talk all the time, but I still miss having a “partner in crime” so to speak. We both have cool humor and talk about the world at large. He’s gone all MGTOW and I am more pro-fellowship/fraternal male and not anti-women. Not sure if everyone gets that. So I am looking for someone that has his humor and even look. Tall lanky skinny nerdy, geeky smart and not a typical millennial looking at a smartphone sort. Maybe you’re also a lover of coffee. I think the Starbuck’s on Robinson St. in the Fan is the best. Maybe you’re just different the typical variant of Richmond, VA. Maybe you’re friends don’t get you or you feel you were born at the wrong time in history. My bud (Will) feels this way. I am just looking for that unique guy that I can just chill with and have a laugh and see where it goes.
So here it goes. If you do reply, tell me about yourself and why this post interested you and we’ll go from there.
Cheers!
Kitten with Claws (Mechanicsville)
I heard you are still a wild cat who knows how to use her claws. I would love to find a way of taming you. Me, SWM, 40, d/d free. Will send pic.
U had an egg plant (Chesapeake)
You had an egg plant when at the auto store. You commented on the car.
The Village Shopping Center (Starbuck’s) (Tuckahoe/UofR)
To the dude sitting outside of Starbuck’s today. You are super cute nerdy type, young with cool glasses. You were sitting with a much older guy, probably in his late 60’s or ever 70. You have red hair (Princeton haircut style) short parted on the side. I just thought you were so cute and liked your vibe although I was sitting inside Starbuck’s. I really didn’t get why you were talking to the much older man, because he didn’t seem like he was related to you or even if it were sexual. Basically just liked your look and not necessarily sexually. Just like cool nerds I guess. I am a guy and you remind me of one of my guy friend who now lives in NC. I doubt you will see this, but if you do let’s talk. You were at Starbuck’s around 6 PM Sunday, March 8.
If any other guy reads this and is nerdy, geeky, shy, skinny cool and looking for a friend who is older, but not old that’s cool too. Best if you’re in The Fan or Near West End area.
Cheers.
I guess I’m typing this out on Craigslist because I need to pour my heart out
After four years of dating and another year of on again and off again casual love you’ve found someone or at least someone to break the cycle we were in for the past year.
I don’t know how to feel. I jump from extremely sad to somewhat relieved. I told you there were going to be some big changes in my life this year (school, new living situation, new job) and I guess that sealed the fate on whatever we had. I’m scared but like you’ve been telling me I need to change, I’m only getting older and I need a career.
We did have a lot of fun. Trips to New York, fancy resturants, seeing and participating in events every week. I really loved taking care of you and making sure you were ok. Having you over and cooking for you/rubbing your feet after a long day made me happy. You repeatedly told me other boyfriends wouldn’t do this. I think what I liked the most about you was how intelligent and witty you are, very sharp. I enjoy our conversations and debates.
However I know were it went wrong. I was dragging my feet in life and this only frustrated you. I was in a deep depression and I refused to get help. This only made you verbally abusive to me (well, you were like that before) and you just seemed you wanted me to lash out and be horrible, like in your last relationships. I didn’t want to do that. You saw me as weak, I made myself too available emotionally. I think you’re also self conscious about your looks and what people would say to you hence why you were so frigid 50% of the time.
All in all it’s over. Our last encounter was horrible, when you told me you were talking to someone else I couldn’t hold back my rage. Sorry for scaring you.
I don’t know how to round this off but if anyone is going through the same thing you aren’t alone and you’ll get better over time.
