Halloween’s almost here, but this week Missed Connections is more about kicking dope rhymes than it is about costumery. If you can come up with a more creative couplet than one that pairs “beautiful” with “cuticles,” you just might find the hottie of your dreams.
Sexist stereotypes and extremely obvious marijuana references won’t win anyone anything except maybe a call from a narc, but painting secret-admirer mash notes on rocks and leaving them at your crush’s front door certainly might get you some attention. Meanwhile, it might be time to sweep the bathroom floor — the remnants of last week’s haircut seem to have attained sentience, and are making debatably threatening Craigslist posts about you.
If all else fails, maybe you can cure your loneliness at Kroger. If nothing else, it’s objectively the best grocery store chain in the city, so you’ll at least be able to get some good deals on produce.
Snack hard, Virginia.
The time is 4:20 (Stafford, VA)
Where are you Mr. Green?? The time is 4:20…Do you know what I mean? Extra for delivery
Saturday night. you and a friend were witches. You are the WM. Remember me?
Crazy women that make them lousy in relationships but the best in bed?
One HOT MAMA, wished we could have spoken
Liv works at samsclub col. Hghts (Colonial heights)
I think your name tag said Liv. But you work at Sam’s Club you look incredible. Jaw dropping incredible I just wanted to let you know. Even though I am sure you already know that. If you happen to read this hope it brightens your day.
Your your the voice inside my head (Virgina beach)
I miss you, now I am acting like a punk clinching the tissue. We said I was just for fun, no attachment or trying to get serious. Then I got to know you, and you intrigued me being so mysterious. Things happen and everything got so delirious so I am trying to reach back to you because my heart is searching so furious. We use skate and make love I would always give you back rubs. Holding you nice and tight, maybe once day me and you can once again see a sunset cause you are my sunlight. You know who you are beautiful message me so I can get all up in your cuticles.
Sorry to disturb you friday (Innsbrook)
Sorry about that. Friday I was having my lunch in my work parking lot out near capital one and parked in the back to eat. Didn’t realize anyone was in the car but I saw the two of you climb up from the back seat and you took off. Sorry to be a blocker!
Have you stopped thinking about me yet? I saw you watching me the whole time despite being with someone else.
Cut.
Cut me off.
Trim me down.
Look at me laying
On the floor.
Powerless.
Sweep me
Into you pan,
And look at me
One last time
Before you tilt
Your wrist
To banish me.
Deplorable.
Wash away the
Rest of me
And start
New.
On Wednesday October 23rd, a stone painted white on the top and words written in purple, red, and gold was found on top of my mailbox. I’m aware that rocks are passed around randomly all the time in this community with cute messages on them. I find really small ones around work once in a while. Except this time, I don’t believe it was from a stranger. They obviously knew where I lived. I believe the rock was a message for me. I am not sure whether to pass it on or find the person that left it. It is a mystery to me that I want to solve. I believe it was a message of love. If it was you or you know who it was, please reach out and give me an answer. I have never received anything like this before in my life, obviously this is a special and unique gift. My heart wants an answer. I need to find out why they have left it for me. This rock is more like a stone that was from my own garden or someplace by the water. It’s about 3-4 inches long and has some weight to it. The following words were written on it:
“Your love is golden!”
Girl dancing in the yellow beetle (Ashland, VA)
You were so cute dancing in your car. I tried to get your eye, but we were going about 85 on the interstate. I’m staying in Ashland, VA tonight but don’t live in the Richmond area. Just wanted to let you know how good your energy felt. Made me put on some music and dance myself. 😉
Were you driving a new or old beetle?
Was that a connection? We kept sharing looks. I wanted to talk to you but you kept driving after leaving store. What was I wearing?
You had glasses. Black shirt. Hair in a ponytail off to the side. Tattoo on your left arm. Very pretty woman. You were at the doors talking to employees. I was the guy at customer service. Kinda stared at you.
You were the short haired blond woman with four friends on the Pulse bus today around noon. You got off at Willow Lawn. You are smoking hot. I wanted to say something to you but I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation you were having with your friends.
I’d like to have a cup of coffee or a cocktail with you.
Tell me what had on.
Like skin girl working at Pizza Hut (Hopewell)
I wanted to ask for your number but I don’t usually like asking while someones at work. But here I am regreting not asking. Tell me what’s on the screen.
Orange shoes & sweater, camel silvers and a little pick up at WaWa
WaWa W. Broad-
You were wearing orange tennis shoes and an orange sweater. You bought camel silvers, complimented my shirt and drove off in a little pick up truck. You are SO cute.! Hope to hear back.
April at Wawa (Fredericksburg Virginia)
Hoping you might see this we talk this morning you said you was getting off in 15 minutes I said jump in the little white truck I’ll take you home like to talk with you more
Golds Gym Swiftcreek- Colorful pant… wears a hat
You are a blonde WF… I typically see you early morning. I’m typically leaving as you come in. I noticed you looking at me while you were on the stairmaster. What do I look like? 😉
I helped you at the self checkout. You have beautiful hair … well…beautiful everything. If your interested in grabbing some food, go for a walk or catch a movie , let me know. To know its you, tell me how i helped.
We were in the sauna at the same time, made eye connection several times. Can provide more details and description. Both WM. Email me.
I asked if you were lost.. and you said?
We had a good convo the other night and would like to grab a drink sometime. I should have said something at the time but by the time I went to you were leaving.
